Hard To Remember

Do you remember when we were best friends? Do you remember when we did almost everything together? Well I do, and it hurts me to think and know that it isn’t what it used to be. I think about it all the time, and it constantly eats me alive, this thing it keeps ringing in my head. I always wonder if there is anything I can do to change it or take it back to the way things were, but I also think that you should also be putting in just as much effort as I am. We need to work through this together, because that’s what “best friends” do right? We always used to say that we’d be best friends forever, and for a while I believed that because it wasn’t until high school when things got a little bumpy and hard to deal with. I mean I definitely understand that people usually go their separate ways once they hit high school, but if you’re true friends then nothing will tear you apart. We always swore to each other that we would NEVER let anything come between us ever. I mean I definitely kept my part of the agreement, I’m just wondering where you’re at and if you even care enough anymore to make this friendship work. If you do you definitely have a weird way of showing it, because you honestly make NO effort anymore. Do you remember when we were basically attached at the hip, any where that I was you were there with me & any where you were I was right there with you. I’m not asking to be with each other all the time because that is extremely hard because we both have jobs and lives. The one thing that keeps ringing in my head was the first time we called each other best friends. I remember it like it was yesterday, we were coming in from sledding and we were freezing so your mom had made us hot chocolate and we laid down and watched movies together. We had just finished drinking our hot chocolate and we both just started randomly laughing out of no where and we looked at each other and just stopped and stared for a few minutes then out of no where at the same time we both said “I’m glad that you’re my best friend” and then we both giggled because we didn’t really think anything big of it, I mean hey we were just kids not really knowing the true meaning of a best friend. But we knew enough about it to be able to call each other best friends, I honestly can’t even remember the last time I heard you call me your best friend. Do you understand how much that hurts? Sometimes I feel like you don’t understand, or you just don’t care enough to understand. Can we please just go back to the time when things were so easy and we had nothing to worry about and we were just so inseparable? No matter what happens whether we’re friends or not I will ALWAYS be here for you if you ever need anything, because I made a promise to you and I don’t break promises so I will keep it. I hope you will do the same for me, we’ve been through too much to just give up now. Friendships are made to go through stuff like this, and I guess that’s why we’re still here today as friends. Do you remember anything at all, the stupid little fights we had when we were younger, the fun memorable sleep overs that we had as much as we could? I mean we did absolutely everything together, some of the most important events in my life happened when you were with me, and it means a lot. It’s just hard to sit there and look back at all these things and know that there is a possibility that they’re not there anymore, I just want it all back. Don’t you? I wish I could say this to you in person, there’s never really anytime and I feel like it wouldn’t come out the right way. It’s a lot easier when I write things out, it helps a lot. I honestly just want to know where you’re at with all of this, do you still consider me your “best friend” or am I just a friend? Let me know because I really don’t want to waste my time on something that isn’t going any where at all. I’ve been fighting for this friendship for long enough, it’s time you step up and do something about it.