Misunderstood.

Something you don’t understand… Hm, how about the overpowering love that I have for you. You know I do understand that sometimes it may be hard considering I always keep my guard up to prevent shit like this from happening. Even sometimes I get confused about love, because it’s such a broad subject. I want everything to be just set in stone and understandable because this, you not knowing how I feel is really starting to take a toll on me. It really isn’t easy anymore, not even the slightest bit. This all made me realize not to try and be more than friends with someone you’ve been best friends with for a while, it doesn’t work out well. For the most part it doesn’t. You don’t even acknowledge me anymore, I don’t miss you as a significant other I really don’t; I just miss you as my best friend. You were always there for me when I needed you, but where are you now? Not with me where you promised you’d be. It really just makes me think were you ever a “true friend” because true friends don’t leave, you try your best to possibly work through things. But no you wanted to go and give up as soon as shit got tough. I probably should have listened to you in the beginning when you said maybe we shouldn’t try it because you don’t want to risk our friendship because it was really valuable to you. You said to me that if we didn’t end up working you’d always be there for me as a friend, for the most part you’d always ask me if I’d still be there for you as a friend if we didn’t work out. But in the end who ended up leaving, you did. But honestly I don’t regret it one bit, because it taught me a lot. It made me a stronger person, mentally & emotionally. You taught me a lot and I thank you for that, I just wish you were still here to see how much better I’m doing and how much of a better person I am. I’m not going to lie I stressed over you for the longest time because I fell in love with you, but the thing that sucked the most is that you didn’t love me back. That has to be the worst feeling in the world, falling in love with someone that just doesn’t love you back. But honestly it teaches you to be a better person, and just to not look for that in the next person. I can’t sit here and honestly say that I want you back in my life, but I do miss our friendship it was something I valued a lot. You obviously didn’t, but you will eventually learn and see the shit you did. Then you will be coming back, and I can’t say what I’ll do because honestly I have no idea. This is my misunderstood love story, to you. I hope one day you’ll hopefully realize, but maybe once you do realize it’ll be too late. So take your chance while you have it, or I’m gone.

Do You Remember?

Do you remember the time we tried to stay up all night on a school night? We were so young and thought it was so cool to stay up all night and not go to sleep at all. Little did we know, that really wasn’t the smartest thing to do on a night where we had school the next day. I remember we ran downstairs to your kitchen to grab all the food and sugary snacks that we could possibly grab to last us all night. We grabbed everything all at once because we knew if we made a second trip down there in the middle of the night your parents would hear us and we would get in trouble and they would make us go to sleep. This whole staying up all night thing didn’t work out at all. I remember we passed out around 12 midnight, we were exhausted. Do you remember that?

            Do you remember the time we called ourselves “ best friends” for the first time? It was just a normal day of us hanging out, which was basically a daily thing for us. It was wintertime and extremely freezing outside, there was snow on the ground. We had decided that we didn’t want to waste time and sit around inside, we were kids we wanted to go out sledding and have a good time. So that’s what we did. We got really cold really fast, so we decided to just go back to your house. Once we got back we put our pajamas on and drank hot chocolate that your mom had made us, and we watched movies. Oddly at the same time we both said, “I’m so glad you’re my best friend.” So ever since then we’ve been best friends. Do you remember, I do. I love you Alexis Gabrielle Jenofsky<3.

            Do you remember the time we asked if you’d be allowed to come on vacation to Ocean City Maryland with me? We really weren’t scared to ask because we were older now and we’ve also been friends for a while. My family had considered you family, and your family had done the same for me. We would call each other “cousins” because we were so damn close, and I can proudly say that up to this day we still have the same amazing friendship. I am lucky to have you in my life. I’m also extremely happy that I have you in my life, because now a days it’s hard to find genuinely good people or good friends. But any way back to the story, we asked and got a yes. We were so excited! I think it was our first vacation together, I don’t really remember. But it was a great vacation because I had you there to spend it with. Do you remember, I do <3

            Do you remember the time we joined Penn Academy dance together? I really don’t remember every little detail about this because we were like six when we signed up for it. But we started dancing there and we’ve been dancing there together ever since. I remember being so excited because it meant now we would get to spend even more time together. People used to say we were attached at the hip and we were always together. We still are like that but it’s different now because we have jobs and other friends too, and school to keep up on. But do you remember that time, I do <3

            Basically to just cut to the chase, this was simply about someone who’s been my best friend since we first met when we were 2. She’s always been there for me and I chose to write these little do you remember things about her because she’s been there the most and the person who means the most. I hope I made it clear that she’s my best friend and we have way too many memories together so starting me off with these starter sentences made it a lot easier for me to explain memories we had together. I love you Alexis Gabrielle Jenofsky, we’ve been best friends since we were 2 and we will continue to be best friends. You’re genuinely such a good friend and a good person; I’m lucky to have you in my life.