Something you don’t understand… Hm, how about the
overpowering love that I have for you. You know I do understand that sometimes
it may be hard considering I always keep my guard up to prevent shit like this
from happening. Even sometimes I get confused about love, because it’s such a
broad subject. I want everything to be just set in stone and understandable
because this, you not knowing how I feel is really starting to take a toll on
me. It really isn’t easy anymore, not even the slightest bit. This all made me
realize not to try and be more than friends with someone you’ve been best
friends with for a while, it doesn’t work out well. For the most part it
doesn’t. You don’t even acknowledge me anymore, I don’t miss you as a
significant other I really don’t; I just miss you as my best friend. You were
always there for me when I needed you, but where are you now? Not with me where
you promised you’d be. It really just makes me think were you ever a “true
friend” because true friends don’t leave, you try your best to possibly work
through things. But no you wanted to go and give up as soon as shit got tough.
I probably should have listened to you in the beginning when you said maybe we
shouldn’t try it because you don’t want to risk our friendship because it was
really valuable to you. You said to me that if we didn’t end up working you’d
always be there for me as a friend, for the most part you’d always ask me if
I’d still be there for you as a friend if we didn’t work out. But in the end
who ended up leaving, you did. But honestly I don’t regret it one bit, because
it taught me a lot. It made me a stronger person, mentally & emotionally.
You taught me a lot and I thank you for that, I just wish you were still here
to see how much better I’m doing and how much of a better person I am. I’m not
going to lie I stressed over you for the longest time because I fell in love
with you, but the thing that sucked the most is that you didn’t love me back.
That has to be the worst feeling in the world, falling in love with someone
that just doesn’t love you back. But honestly it teaches you to be a better
person, and just to not look for that in the next person. I can’t sit here and
honestly say that I want you back in my life, but I do miss our friendship it
was something I valued a lot. You obviously didn’t, but you will eventually
learn and see the shit you did. Then you will be coming back, and I can’t say
what I’ll do because honestly I have no idea. This is my misunderstood love
story, to you. I hope one day you’ll hopefully realize, but maybe once you do
realize it’ll be too late. So take your chance while you have it, or I’m gone.
Friday, February 17, 2012
Monday, February 6, 2012
Do You Remember?
Do you remember the time we tried
to stay up all night on a school night? We were so young and thought it was so
cool to stay up all night and not go to sleep at all. Little did we know, that
really wasn’t the smartest thing to do on a night where we had school the next
day. I remember we ran downstairs to your kitchen to grab all the food and
sugary snacks that we could possibly grab to last us all night. We grabbed
everything all at once because we knew if we made a second trip down there in
the middle of the night your parents would hear us and we would get in trouble
and they would make us go to sleep. This whole staying up all night thing
didn’t work out at all. I remember we passed out around 12 midnight, we were
exhausted. Do you remember that?
Do
you remember the time we called ourselves “ best friends” for the first time?
It was just a normal day of us hanging out, which was basically a daily thing
for us. It was wintertime and extremely freezing outside, there was snow on the
ground. We had decided that we didn’t want to waste time and sit around inside,
we were kids we wanted to go out sledding and have a good time. So that’s what
we did. We got really cold really fast, so we decided to just go back to your
house. Once we got back we put our pajamas on and drank hot chocolate that your
mom had made us, and we watched movies. Oddly at the same time we both said,
“I’m so glad you’re my best friend.” So ever since then we’ve been best
friends. Do you remember, I do. I love you Alexis Gabrielle Jenofsky<3.
Do
you remember the time we asked if you’d be allowed to come on vacation to Ocean
City Maryland with me? We really weren’t scared to ask because we were older
now and we’ve also been friends for a while. My family had considered you
family, and your family had done the same for me. We would call each other
“cousins” because we were so damn close, and I can proudly say that up to this
day we still have the same amazing friendship. I am lucky to have you in my
life. I’m also extremely happy that I have you in my life, because now a days
it’s hard to find genuinely good people or good friends. But any way back to
the story, we asked and got a yes. We were so excited! I think it was our first
vacation together, I don’t really remember. But it was a great vacation because
I had you there to spend it with. Do you remember, I do <3
Do
you remember the time we joined Penn Academy dance together? I really don’t
remember every little detail about this because we were like six when we signed
up for it. But we started dancing there and we’ve been dancing there together
ever since. I remember being so excited because it meant now we would get to
spend even more time together. People used to say we were attached at the hip
and we were always together. We still are like that but it’s different now
because we have jobs and other friends too, and school to keep up on. But do
you remember that time, I do <3
Basically
to just cut to the chase, this was simply about someone who’s been my best
friend since we first met when we were 2. She’s always been there for me and I
chose to write these little do you remember things about her because she’s been
there the most and the person who means the most. I hope I made it clear that
she’s my best friend and we have way too many memories together so starting me
off with these starter sentences made it a lot easier for me to explain
memories we had together. I love you Alexis Gabrielle Jenofsky, we’ve been best
friends since we were 2 and we will continue to be best friends. You’re
genuinely such a good friend and a good person; I’m lucky to have you in my
life.
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